Who do we look up to? Who do we admire? What qualities mark someone being a “hero”? Do heroes even exist? As a child, I had a few “heroes”… the astronauts who walked on the Moon, Bobby Mercer, an outfielder for the NY Yankees; later Bruce Springsteen, then maybe Robert Frank… then…well the list kind of peters out after that.

One man who I held in high esteem since he emerged on the pop cultural scene in the early aughts was Anthony Bourdain. Bad boy chef, former junkie, writer, tv show host, traveller, citizen of the world, and sadly, lastly…suicide. Bourdain had a profound impact on my adult life, encouraging me to become a curious, open-minded (somewhat) adventurous traveller and eater. More than that, he made middle age seem cool. He was the epitome of hipster cool, in the best sense of the words.

He was also a very sad, lonely man. Looking for love, finding it and losing it numerous times. A romantic spirit forced to live in the real world. A poet, a beat, a wanderer, a punk, a cynic, an artist. I saw the recently released documentary “Roadrunner” last night (in a real theater, no less.) The film covers the rise to fame and the journey to death at his own hands. It was a story I thought I knew a lot about, but I came away with a deeper understanding of the man, his public and private life, the costs of fame and the pressures of trying to be an idealist in a less than ideal world.

Was Anthony Bourdain a hero? To me, he was simply a human being. Same as you and me. A overly curious, yet surprisingly shy man, battling demons in his own head while trying to be a force of good in the world. Inspiring, infuriating, frustrating, comical and yet, profound. A cautionary tale of the pressures of fame and success. But also a guide: to a world of possibility that exists just down the road, just around the corner, or down some dark alley in a foreign country at 2am.