The pandemic dog days are upon us. August brings melancholy. It is my birthday at the end of the month. This is usually the month where travel and beach time beckons. Monsoon season brings needed rain, but also not needed hail. The light is beginning to change. The summer is close to its breaking point. I continue to plan new projects, as my Japan book makes its way out into the world. Branching out into new formats, thinking of new zine ideas, thinking about another long-term shooting project that will most likely need to wait until interstate travel is safe again. And, of course, the bosque beckons. Short and sweet this week. Welcome August, bring what you will.
experimenting with a pinhole lens
2020: 19 (Try To Maintain Focus)
The long pause continues. Things can crest and dissipate, as the wind blows, as the sun rises and sets. Feelings sway, reactions sharpen, or get dulled to a nub. Facing the unknown, an unknowable, with plenty of time to reflect. Could have, would have, should have. I will, someday. I might, someday. I definitely will not, ever again.
I continue to work, I continue to sleep, to eat, to drink. To hold, to love. To cry, to get anxious, angry, bored, excited. I have trouble concentrating, especially when I’m reading. I listen: to podcasts, to music, to the birds, to the wind, to the neighborhood dogs that bark too much. Sometimes I have energy to spare, often times I am tired. Sometimes I create, sometime I spiral, aimlessly. Sometimes I shoot, sometimes I imagine pictures in my head. Sometimes I look, and most of the time, I see.
How are you holding up?
2020: 12 (In Like A Lamb, Out Like a Lion)
The old saying goes, if March comes in like a lamb, it goes out like a lion. This year, it looks like it’s going out as neurotic, agitated, finicky, dangerously unpredictable lion. I am grateful for a stable job, and the ability to work from home. It has made this past week somewhat more manageable and tolerable. I’ve kept my panic to a minimum. I’ve tried to incorporate time outdoors into my social distancing routine. It is true, nature heals.
I have plenty of projects to occupy my mind, and I am forging ahead with my next self-publishing project. Let the hand-binding and assembly commence. I hope you all stay safe and healthy. I hope you are able to maintain your sanity and stability through this challenge. I am convinced we’ll get through this, though having no idea how long the struggle will last. I’ll continue to shoot, to write, to think and to be curious.
